Relationships

Why are there so many books written about relationships? Maybe we should all seek to find clues to happier endings. Our individual pride confirms to each of us that the other person needs these books. Our complacency forces our counterpart to put up with our selfishness that eventually turns into bitterness. This happens not only between the male and female, husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, but also in casual relationships. Can we talk about relationships in general?

For the most part, I believe that a person who loves him or her self first will then be able to love others. A person who tolerates his or her own actions is also more tolerant of others - I believe. Think of it this way: people tend to view others as they view themselves. If then I believe that I am human, that I make mistakes, and that I will love myself more tomorrow than I did today, then this is the me that I bring to the relationship. This is all the me that I can offer to the person with whom I am involved.

That step takes some soul-searching though. It is without judgement that you learn to love yourself. It's not where you end it - but it is where you start. You end up judging your actions and making corrections, but initially you need to see you for who you are and love you for who you are. Period. Failure to do this puts all your relationships at risk. If you have some obvious issues that you have not acknowledged, recognized, and loved you will not be able to stand the criticism from those with whom you are in relationship. This includes family relationships, personal relationships, and business relationships. Have you ever met someone who can talk about their short-comings and laugh? Further, have you noticed the comfort you feel in wanting to relate to this person? It is not long before you begin sharing your problems with this person. You see the light-heartedness and honesty with which they handle their own self, so your fear of being judged quickly fades away.

To be successful in relationships,
1. first take care of loving and respecting yourself
2. acknowledge your faults - find clues from what others may have said in the past
3. lose your pride and talk about your faults from time-to-time
4. allow others the opportunity to declare their faults without being judged
5. dispel any imbalance in the relationship by taking criticism, especially from someone who self-judges much of the time. It's stressful to be in a relationship with you if you are perfect.

Did that help? I hope it did. After all this is who I am, this is what I do...

Etta Kit