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Saturday, November 26, 2011

Men...it's cold

Yes, this one is for the men.

Hi guys! Life's good? Great. I'm glad. I've been talking to a Few Good Men. Some of you are struggling. Phew! Struggling trying to maintain a lifestyle of "Love & Happiness." We women are not easy to deal with, but I will tell you this: if you have an honest woman, she loves your effort to make her smile and keep her happy.

So why is it cold? It gets cold when your lady isn't smiling. The saying is true that a persons smile can brighten a room. Well the same is even more true for a woman because she puts her heart into her smile. BA-AM! Her smile will warm up your house, your kids, your bedroom, your work, and your life!

Is your lady cold or is she smiling?

What makes a woman cold?

1. Feeling unappreciated. Men you can eliminate this by thanking her for the routine things - ironing your clothes, calling herr in-laws, packing the kids lunch, or cleaning the house. Just say, "Thank you."

2. Not hearing what makes her special. Do you like the way she walks? Do you like how she bites her bottom lip? What about how she laughs? Look her in the eye and say, "I love the way you ______."

3. Not getting touched. A rub here, stroking the back of her neck, rubbing your face against hers, holding her hands and paying attention to each finger you hold,or playing footsies at the dinner table. Go ahead. Do it. Just touch her.

4. Not being looked at. You married her, you chose her - look at her. Look her in the eye. Look at her when she gets dressed, puts on her makeup, or when she sweeps the kitchen. Let her know she has your attention.

Reason numbers 5 - 1,000,000! There are many reasons we as women aren't smiling. But there are solutions unique to each woman. Ask your lady what makes her warm. Ask her what makes her smile. Ask her what she likes. She may not know the answer right away, especially if she spends more time on others than herself. But leave the door open, and ask her to get back with you when she has an answer.

It's cold, but men you have the power to make it warm.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Happy Holidays

I just love the holidays. I love spending time with my family. I love seeing others happy.

For me its a time when I can give to others intangible gifts. A hug here. A kind word there. Fixing someone's plate. An invitation to my place for dinner. While many of us are living a comfortable life, others live uncomfortable in their own skin. What happened if on Turkey Day we opened our hearts to forgive someone who maybe didn't know the protocol, but were guilty of disrespecting others?

Broken homes, lies, deceit, manipulation, and abuse all create conditions for children and people to learn "wrong" instead of learning "right". Thousands of people in this world - your neighbor, your manager, your co-worker, your in-laws - were bred in unloving environments. In turn, they may treat others in a rude, disrespectful and uncaring way. Sometimes it's because they don't know a better way.

Wisdom is a better way. It takes people who are honest, understanding, and loving to point out when a person is behaving badly to others. The disrespectful people have to be willing to make changes. With your love, understanding, and support people can change. Opening your home and heart this season is one way to start. You should not however put up with abuse from anyone. If hurt people are willing to stop hurting others, they deserve a chance to be a part of your Happy Holidays.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

The Other Woman

This morning was a "Movie Review" morning for me. You know, the kind of event where your life plays before your eyes. Then you hear a, "Wow", escape your lips. It's where you are the main character and the whole movie is about you. Don't be so excited that you get to star in your own movie. The whole point is that spiritually you are being allowed to take a look at your life because God is sick of you and The Other Woman.

Once there was a girl named "Me" who saw life through others eyes. For years Me took other people's comments as her own - even the bad and critical ones. Me learned to criticize women's clothes, shoes, houses, hair, spouses, jobs, and kids. Me learned to criticize politicians and leaders. Me criticized the obvious and even what she perceived through her analytical mind.

It just so happened that one day Me was selected to star in a movie. The scenes were glimpse's of Me's life through her own mind - her past, her present, and her future. Much of what Me saw was the possibility that some parts of her life were similar to those she had learned to criticize. Ouch! Me faced the facts that Me shared the same thoughts, actions, or maladies as some of the people she squinched an eye at earlier in her life.

Me became a product of her own thoughts: her critical thoughts and comments were planted in her own garden for her to now enjoy! She was now that other woman. How sad for Me to think she could call the error in the other woman's lives. Me was wrong for living life with negative energy. Criticism is negative. But Me was ready to change. And she is. Will you? We all have the other woman in our life. Who is yours? Who are you similar to - not by choice, but because you cast negative energy around her that now haunts you?

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Blue Fall

The predictions are in...it's going to be a "Blue" Fall season. We are accustomed to seeing the colors red, orange, green, and gold this time of year. But in 2011, the fashion house is adding blue. The regular navy blue won't cut it, so change your mind and even step out of the box in the new blues for 2011.

Bright blues, royal blues, and cobalt blues are popping up this time. Navy blue became the new black decades ago. Unfortunately it hasn't made it back. That's okay because black won't fit in your color trend now. Instead rock some bright, powerhouse blues that will have right where you need to be - on top of your A game.

Here Christian Louboutin makes you a great blue pump called Daffy. All I can say is, "SSWEEEEET".



If you want more blue, here's something you can try: an entire outfit:




Too much for you? For those who want to play the Minor Leagues with just a hint of color, pick up a scarf or a bright blue bracelet. It's okay to be blue in Fall 2011.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

WHAT A BREAK!

Have you ever just taken a break from it all? I didn't realize I have not blogged in over a year! What happened to me? Well, life came in and took me for a ride - again. A ride away from it all. I realized that writing, blogging, and sharing are who I am. So I'm back again. But this time it's for good.

What have I done these past months? Discovered me! Discovered you! I learned that life is about the relationships you make, cultivate, keep, and discard. We are like plants. Give us some food, water, and sun and we grow. When the darkness of winter comes that can be symbolic of bad relationships, we die off. Just like plants.

The people I know who I consider to be successful are happy, prosperous in what they are doing, giving, loving, smiling, sharing, have abundant relationships with friends, family, co-workers, and others in the community, and love to hug (that's me!). These are the people I want to emulate. They someone leave a mark in my mind that life is good for them, even when I know they may have had some trying times.

You see, we are products of our experiences in life. Mine have been good. Mine have been bad. A good upbringing from a Southern momma. A missing father. An abusive marriage that started when I was 18, but that I endured for 10 and a half years. A loving relationship with God. An ugly custody battle in which only God spared my heart. Good jobs with good companies. All of this is who I am. All of this affects how I love and link up with people. This is how we all do it.

Overall though I have decided to purposefully pick and cultivate and end relationships in my life. If I want a loving husband, I have to stop and think and love him the way "he" wants to be loved. If I want my kids to love me, I have to stop and think and love them they want they each individually want to be loved. To have good professional relationships with my co-workers then I needed to join them for lunch when they wanted to dine. If I want friends to call me and think of me, I need to purposefully send them a card, a text, or show up at their house with carry-out one night.

This is my life now. I've progressed from just "Etta Kit" to "The Etta Kit Way". Of course, I will keep you updated on my progress. I have a feeling that how I strive to love others will sprout so many other positive things in my life in such an abundant way.

I'm on a mission to create an entourage of loving relationships, will you join me?