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Monday, March 23, 2009

Elevators, I know

There's yet another difference in northern and southern culture which I noticed while riding the elevator in an office building last week. Those of you who know me understand my respect for male chivalry. I whole heartedly support a male figure taking the lead role in most all situations. My southern roots just have me like that.

In the southern United States, I notice that men flex their biceps and hold back the elevator doors for women to enter the cab first. If these men are smart (and single), they will quickly follow. That just put points on the tally sheet for any man hoping to get a woman's attention. As the elevator progresses to its destination and the man happens to be going to the same floor as any woman in the cab, the gentleman (as I will rename him now) will step to the side and once again flex his biceps to hold the doors for the woman to exit first. That's just the way it happens in the south from my fifteen-plus years of experience living there.

How does this same scenario work in the north you ask? Let me remind you I have southern roots, but was born and raised in the midwest (north of the southern states). I lived in the south for many years and now I live in the north. It is in the north that I noticed an absence of male chivalry. For about a week after relocating to the Washington, DC area, I found myself competing with the men to jump on the elevator first. These same men would leave the cab first when going to the same destination as myself. Stepping to the side and holding that door for me was not on the mens agendas! This appeared to be the attitude of old men, young men, gay men, straight men, married men, single men, men of all races, blue-collar men, and white-collar men...you get the picture? I did not notice a consistent male chivalry pattern for at least seven months. However, the local women are not taken aback by these male actions. To me they take it in stride - literally - they keep moving.

I will reiterate how wonderful to a woman the actions of a man taking the lead and providing a pathway for her to both enter and exit to her destination. Aaaahh...

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

And a child shall lead them...

Recently some associates of mine were impressed when upon meeting my seven-year old son, he extended his hand and introduced himself with his first and last name. The handshake was firm as he looked them in the eye. But the opposite of him leading the introductions was that he waited to hear their names so he could repeat, "Nice to meet you __________." Training children to be confident and proud of who they are increases their self-esteem. Some of the issues children face in school such as low grades, influence of peer pressure, and bullying have been linked to low self-esteem.

When I taught my son this greeting he was apprehensive at first. I realized he rarely saw anyone do this. Even when I meet people, I begin talking without formally introducing myself. It is amazing how our small mannerisms affect our children. By just changing how I respond to strangers I create habits that reinforce my childrens social skills. It's not just my business at www.ettakit.com, but it's also my life.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Spring Step

This time of year poses problems for many women, including myself. There is some truth that a change in the weather disrupts normal brain functions for a period of time until cerebral fluids readjust. During the Spring, we get in touble for daydreaming, wanting to play in the dirt, or just lounging around outside. Albeit, one of my favorite seasonal pasttimes is to spend one day walking into stores trying on sandals. With each trial, I find myself thinking about all the fun places I could wear the shoes: the beach; lunch with some friends on the patio of a cool diner; mid-week church revival; dinner and a movie; family reunions. Before I know it, it feels like I have worn the shoes already, so I place them back in the box and carry on. Some of the shoes though I keep. But, I promise I refuse to buy any shoes for which I have not already prepared a visual in my mind.

As a trained image consultant, I have learned that Rule Number One in this business is to know me. This keeps my personal preferences for myself separate from the recommendations I offer my clients. So I know what I like, what looks good on me, and the styles I should avoid. Flats, gladitor sandals, sandals with less than a one-inch heel, and patent leather sandals all fall into my "NO" category. In 2007, I took my Mom and the kids to our favorite vacation spot for a week. Once there at Saint Simons Island, Georgia I unpacked my suitcase of shoes. The only styles I purchased were those with two or three-inch heels. Even my flip-flops were on a 3-inch heel. But I know my stuff and can walk my walk (the confidence I recommend for every woman) so even my high-heels were appropriate for sandy beaches.